My mom, her breast cancer and covid
To me, Cancer was just a word before, a very negative and disturbing word. In my family, this word was always used in a very hushed tone. Discussing something like breast cancer with my dad was never a thought. These things were never talked about openly in front of me or my brother. In my heavily equipped rationale brain, breast cancer never held a place. According to a survey, only 3% of respondents confirmed that their friends and family members knew about the disease and conducted self-checkups. But quarter never discussed breast cancer with them and sadly enough, I was a part of them. I didn’t even have the superficial idea of the disease.
Being born to such a बावर्ची mother, the one who cooks everything at home, be it Diwali ki mithai or street momos, the odds of catching a tragic disease seemed very less. Good family health history made me too confident to think otherwise. I was so adamant/selfish towards it that I always thought a disease of this sort can’t even touch my family and this denial phase even lasted a month post my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer.
Oncologists say that breast cancer occurs when some breast cells begin to grow abnormally. These cells divide more rapidly than healthy cells do and continue to accumulate, forming a lump or mass. Cells may spread (metastasize) through your breast to your lymph nodes or other parts of your body. How does this disease set in? That cause is unknown.
All it started from, was a small painless cyst, she felt a cyst in her right breast. It was the time when corona was already shining bright at our heads, she was sent away by GP many times. Only emergency cases were being taken. We sat on her symptoms for more than a month. The least we took up was an online checkup. The prescription was alarming but post that there was no turning back.
From 2 percent chance of developing it, she made it upto 30% after mammogram, 70% after MRI and USG guided FNAC biopsy- made it 95% likely for malignant tumor.
Mammograms are the best and the easiest screening method recommended by oncologists. Undergo regular self-checks, even a small hint- talk to your doctor and take a mammogram, it is similar to X-rays. People can carry cancer cells in their genes. Genetic mutations that increase the risk of breast cancer, such as those in the breast cancer genes BRCA1 and BRCA2, may increase the likelihood of developing carcinoma. If any family history of ulcers, cancer, tumors — you have to take this more seriously. Most women may naturally have one breast bigger than the other or experience them gradually changing as they get older. Many changes are perfectly normal, however, if you notice a sudden, unusual change in size or shape then get it checked out.
On 30th July, my mother, 44, got diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ(which is the presence of abnormal cells inside a milk duct in the breast)- stage 1a in her right breast. Her cancer was early stage and was not spread to lymph nodes(non-metastatic)
She was young to develop it. Initially, even her GP(General Practitioner) refused to recommend an ultrasound.
But, Age was never a barrier to cancer, not even gender. There are many cases of breast cancer in men.
We saw 4 of our acquaintances, of similar age to my mom, getting diagnosed with the same disease very after her treatment started, that’s the pace it is spreading at. Mummy saw girls younger than me with unibreast fighting severe stages.
My mother, with a very nervous smile, without thinking why it happened, how it happened, was all set for what next. We couldn’t prevent it, yet we can cure it. In India, one woman is diagnosed with breast cancer every 4 minutes. ‘The stats are high, treatment is slow, but the will is damn strong’. She had already gone through so many tests and breast screenings that her reluctance took a backseat. All she knew was, these doctors get to see them regularly, this is just another body part affected with a disease that needs to cut apart. The materialistic breast was too misogynistic to let her down.
With Tahira Kashyap and tons of youtube videos, we thought we got this but we were unknown to what we were heading into.
The journey drained buckets of tears, required excessive patience, and a lot of blood and beetroots.
Now there were regular checkups — the hospital was 85 km from our place-traveling every alternative day to the hospital early morning — at the times when nothing was more daring than visiting the hospital.
We were there the day of mahakumbh, the day covid phase 2 leaped, we passed the site of ghats and insane police checking at every next km and were even there to view the consequence of it when the hospital was just mortuary and roads were dead silent.
“Seeing people one step away from dying, kills a little part of you, your pain seems futile”, that what gave my parents the strength to fight through it strongly.
As per the prognosis, Mastectomy(removal of the invasive breast), chemotherapy and the breast reconstruction was the recommended treatment by her doctors.
How tough it all may sound but we all were pumped with hope and strength by seeing our mom’s strong-held face. Whenever she goes for a test, how painful, how nerve-wracking it be, she went in with a smile, more for us than for her. Similarly at the time of her surgery, when she was entering the OT on a stretcher, she adorned a big smile but this time it was more for herself than for anybody else.
Recovery post-surgery was slow, she had some complications but resiliency is strong with this one. All she had to herself were positive people, lots of positive thoughts, medical insurance(now or never), protein-rich diet, and anulom-vilom (Learned some food facts on the go- brocolli is an anti-cancer vegetable, the magic of beetroot we all know- one shot of it before blood tests and you are good to go, kinuu and coconut water works like charm to treat dehydration and nausea, cashews are a no-no for cancer). Covid came as a blessing to us, a chance to stay with her when she needs us the most. I also learned to do dressing, reading medical reports, learned some medical acronyms, how to apply injections, and importantly laughing it off.
And then Chemotherapy made it more visible. It uses specific drugs against specific cancer cells which in turn causes extreme side effects — hair loss, nail darkening, vomitings, nausea, blurry vision, severe pains to name a few. Unibreast with a bald head is a lot for someone’s vanity. She stopped using the mirror for a while. But “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain”. Now, She is proud to join unibreast force. She knows, God has chosen her for and a reason, and she is proudly doing her part. This disease is spreading strongly. A cure is possible in case of early detection, it can be uprooted right at the seed level.
For that, we all have to do our part and it all starts from self-touch and self-examination.
She went through her last shot of chemotherapy last Monday. Right now, we all are pumped about her upcoming bob look, and calmly planning for tests and other routine checkups. And what about her ex-breast, we leave that for bra companies. Life is not perfect for her, she has big scars and 10 yrs of packed medicines with her, but this is her new normal and she accepted it.
Moving on with growth is life, and this time I learned the most valuable lesson, Body Literacy. We are too engrossed with everything outside that we lose on to ourselves, we ignore self-health, and compromise our diet. But the body gives signs, better to take them before it’s too late. We need to invest more in our health as this is the only one that comes with no risks and high returns.
Take care of yourself and your loved ones 🙂
